Two men are sitting at a bus stop. One is dressed like a clown, the other dressed like a mime.

 

CLOWN: Fuckin’ bus.

 

MIME: Tell me about it.

 

CLOWN: Heheheheheheheheheheh ahahahahahahah hohhohhooohohhohoho! (Continues to hysterically laugh)

 

MIME: What’s a matter wit you?

 

CLOWN: My gawd! A talking mime!

 

MIME: Talkin’ mime?

 

CLOWN: Talkin’ mime.

 

MIME: I only play a mime on TV.

 

CLOWN: What’s your day job?

 

MIME: Couch warmer. You?

 

CLOWN: Oh, I’m a velvet painting from 9-5.

 

MIME: Good work?

 

CLOWN: Pays well. But always with the waterworks.

 

MIME: Waterworks?

 

CLOWN: Oh yeah. ‘bout as funny as you from 9-5.

 

MIME: Well, feck you then.

 

CLOWN: Oh, don’t tempt me you vile thing.

 

MIME: Disgusting!

 

CLOWN: Disgusting.

 

MIME: You can say that again.

 

CLOWN: You said it for me.

 

MIME: Yeah. Always interrupting. I have no manners.

 

CLOWN: Where’s that bus?

 

MIME: Dunno. Maybe it passed us while we were talking.

 

CLOWN: I think I would’ve noticed that.

 

MIME: Ya think?

 

CLOWN: Well busses are rather loud, y’know.

 

MIME: Eh. Not if you’re not wanting to hear it.

 

CLOWN: Why wouldn’t I wanna hear it?

 

MIME: Cause it’s almost 9. Don’t wanna make with the waterworks?

 

CLOWN: Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s my own subconscious attempt at finding a new day job.

 

MIME: Eh. Try out my racket.

 

CLOWN: Warming couches?

 

MIME: Better than workin’ the corners like the old days. People don’t like mimes.

 

CLOWN: A mime is a terrible—

 

MIME: (interrupting) Don’t even make that pun. I could die.

 

CLOWN: Die, eh?

 

MIME: Then who’d warm the couches?

 

CLOWN: I could try my hand at it. Only if you died, that is. Wouldn’t move in on your livelihood.

 

MIME: Ah, well, thanks. That takes a lot of character. I mean, a life is a terrible thing to waste.

 

CLOWN: Yeah. If it means something.

 

MIME: Means something. Means something? You think it means something? What’s the meaning of life?

 

CLOWN: The sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms. As in metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to the environment.

 

MIME: Adaptation to the environment.

 

CLOWN: Adaptation to the environment.

 

MIME: What about eternal life?

 

CLOWN: A subsequent state, existence, or principle of existence perceived as belonging to the soul.

 

MIME: You believe that?

 

CLOWN: Nah. Ya die, ya die.

 

MIME: Die?

 

CLOWN: To undergo the complete and permanent cessation of all vital functions.

 

MIME: Vital functions. Like thinkin’.

 

CLOWN: Like that Descartes guy said.

 

MIME: Yeah? Descartes? What did he do from 9-5?

 

CLOWN: Think.

 

MIME: Think?

 

CLOWN: Live.

 

MIME: Live?

 

CLOWN: Hell yeah…

 

The two sit quietly a moment

 

MIME: Hey. There’s the bus.

 

CLOWN: Oh, don’t pass us by!

 

The two stand and gaze down stage right.

 

END

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